3C Counseling and Wellness LLC

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

I sat down to reflect a couple months ago about the current political climate. There was a lot of fear, uncertainty, tension and feelings of hopelessness/helplessness. These themes came up within my work with clients and in the news, on social media, and in discussions with others in my life. As we approached election time in the United States, many of these same themes continued, though with some renewed hope and people moving together to try to influence change.

I spoke with someone about figuring out how to keep grounded/centered when it feels like everything is crashing down around you. When we are struggling in our own lives, we need grounding or distress tolerance techniques. We need positive emotional experiences to “outweigh” the negative and help us regulate our nervous systems. We need to have something that empowers us and gives us a sense of control, even with the “little things”. It can help to recognize that we all go through cycles of building, falling, and rebuilding; of rupture and repair in our lives and relationships. It’s the natural rhythms of life. We may have to “ride the wave”. This may be true about systemic change and healing too – there will need to be a “falling apart” in order to rebuild a more sustainable society.

I’ve avoided “politics” for so long because of anxiety/fear, but suddenly I felt a pull to “do something”. It can be such a helpless feeling to “do nothing”. Then, the realization that I have my work on a micro scale- to help people find peace, stillness, compassion and regulation within themselves, to rebuild their relationships or cut unhealthy ties. My hope is that this has a ripple effect. My hope is that we can learn to quiet the noise and in stillness find safety to look at fear and anger from a new perspective, which can allow us to shift into action and connection in meaningful ways. Perhaps, if we can learn to do what we can in the moment and use it as fuel for change, rather than violence, hatred and harm.

“What we need now, more than ever, is leadership that steers us away from fear and fosters greater confidence in the inherent goodness and ingenuity of humanity” (Jimmy Carter, quote found the book No Bad Parts)

We have to hold space for duality – to recognize things as they are AND to work towards change. Change can come from out of dark places, and often has in the past. I know in my own life that I have emerged stronger and more resilient after periods of “darkness” – loss/grief, depression, isolation, and anger.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” – Frederick Douglass

Growth often comes with growing pains. Change often comes through struggles. Hopefully we can continue to move forwards, even when we slip backwards.

So the question is, how do we help build a revolution of love, peace and connection, rather than more disconnect? How can love and care for others overcome the division growing in our country and our world? How can we move together to make changes?

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” – Victor Frankel

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Without inner peace, outer peace is impossible”

There are so many more of these quotations and wisdom from the past and I think the answer starts there – with each of us healing something from within. We have to start at the personal level- to reflect on our own lives and what is happening at large. Do the same themes emerge? Where do you find joy and hope for change?

The healing process of relationships starts at the 1:1 level, in “small” spaces of rupture and repair – within ourselves through therapy, with our families/personal communities, and then to the larger community. To take care of ourselves and show care and kindness to those around us. What can we each do to repair relationships, make meaning and sense out of what is happening and intentionally connect with others? To find safety? There can be “safety in numbers” , so there is benefit to connecting with others in meaningful, safe and joyful ways. To listen and understand others may take shifting our own beliefs and recognizing our own bias. It may mean shifting beliefs that “others are too powerful”. What makes that true? Is it facts or simply propaganda?

Let’s find out and move forward together.

Challenge for today: Find time to focus on kindness, gratitude and caring for ourselves and others around us.